Vermont Kin as Parents

By Phyl Newbeck, Vermont Maturity contributor.

Sometimes, the best parental influences aren’t actually parents. That’s where Vermont Kin as Parents steps in. Back in 2004, the Vermont Legislature designated $5,000 to fund a conference for relatives raising the children of other family members. The first “Parenting Revisited” kinship conference was held in April, 2005. Following the conference, a small group of grandparents who were raising their grandchildren were joined by partners in the community who recognized their needs and in October of 2005, Vermont Kin as Parents (VKAP) became a non-profit organization helping non-traditional family members raise children. 

VKAP has become known throughout Vermont as a strong advocate for kinship caregivers and the children they are raising, as well as a valuable resource for those kinship families. VKAP works with families throughout the state and their representatives sit on a number of committees representing the voice of kinship families. VKAP also advocates for legislative and policy changes to improve the lives of children and families in Vermont while maintaining connections with national agencies working on behalf of kinship families.

Throughout history, family members have stepped in to help with parental duties, caring for each other’s children during difficult times like deaths and illnesses, happy times like the birth of another child, or simply while parents were unavailable for any number of reasons. According to VKAP, an increasing number of children are being cared for by kin on a full-time basis.  

The 2010 Census indicates that 7.8 million U.S. children live with grandparents or other relatives. In Vermont, the number is 6,836, in what is broadly defined as kinship care. Of these, 5,593 (4.4% of the children in the state) live with grandparents and 1,243 (1%) live with other relatives. VKAP provides direct support to kinship or relative caregivers. It is the only non-profit with a focus on kinship, and it currently serves around 150 families in Vermont.

VKAP says research shows that when parents are unable to care for them, children do better when they are with other relatives. They generally already know their caregivers, maintain a connection to the extended family, and live in and learn about their family history, culture, and traditions. They do better in school, have fewer behavior problems and generally are more settled. And because VKAP was founded and is staffed by relatives raising children, the organization understands the issues kinship caregivers face and can offer help and support. 

There are six types of kinship arrangements in Vermont. They can be informal arrangements which do not involve a court order and do not legally transfer any parental rights, minor guardianship which involves a court order and gives the guardian power to make certain decisions about a minor child, foster care, conditional custody which is an alternative to foster care, adoption, or permanent guardianship. 

One way that children end up under the care of non-parental family members occurs when parents arrange for relatives or friends to care for their children when they are unable to do so. This might be for a few months or for longer periods while the parents are completing military service, working out of the area, or incarcerated.

A second avenue is when a family court orders the removal of a child from their home as the result of a juvenile proceeding in which the State alleges the child was abused or neglected, was without or beyond the parents’ control, or committed a delinquent act. 

Regardless of the reason for parental absence, relative caregivers experience dramatic and unplanned changes in their lives when they take on responsibility for children. These include lack of knowledge about resources and how the system works, legal issues, legal expenses, other unplanned expenses, financial challenges, delayed retirement or return to work after retirement, finding quality childcare and paying for it, becoming the parental figure rather than the doting relative, understanding the children who have often been traumatized, working with schools, homework and technology, all of which have changed since they were in school, strained or conflicting relationships with the child’s parents, changed relationships with other family members, loss of freedom, loss of friends, and little or no break from the parenting role. 

VKAP’s services include a phone support line, assistance with navigating the bureaucratic systems, financial resources, support groups, and family fun events. Their website provides resources on where those taking on parental roles can find financial assistance. Several organizations have stepped up to offer assistance including Comcast, which can help people afford internet services and a computer. Other benefits provided to those 55 and over include caregiver training, access to support groups and individual counseling, help paying for childcare, and assistance in finding programs and services. 

“Kin caregivers sometimes need more support, as they are parenting both a child, and their child at the same time which is a very intense family dynamic” said VKAP Executive Director Jeanna Lavallee. To help out, VKAP hosts a weekly peer group meeting. Some consider it a time to talk with others who understand what it’s like being a guardian for a grandchild, niece, nephew, or other family member. Others may call it a support group. No matter what purpose it serves, it is a confidential way to meet with people who share common issues. Another group called PASTA (Parent a Second Time Around) provides monthly opportunities for those parenting a relative’s child or an adopted or foster child to talk to others about their experiences.

Lavallee says that kinship caregivers are critically important in their impact on the outcomes for children in their care. “At Vermont Kin as Parents, we like to honor and celebrate them for the heroes they are,” she said.